Tag Archive | Pacing

MY TALL SHIPS RACE JOURNAL DAY 9 – (12/07/2015) – Oil rig aliens, a few tears and a lap full of bras!

Christmas-Trees-on-the-horizon

Oil rigs on the horizon as we come on watch

Began watch at 12 midnight to an abundance of Christmas trees on the horizon.  Why has Christmas featured so much during this voyage I do not know!  We even had Once in Royal David’s City sang during watch tonight as H could not think of anything else to sing.

Anyway back to those Christmas trees on the horizon.  They were not Christmas trees, they were fishing vessels, oil rigs, drilling platforms, Floatels and guard ships.  We were right in the middle of an exclusion zone for the rigs!  We should not have been in these waters.  Thankfully though due to no one working in the water around the rigs tonight we had been given permission to pass through the exclusion zone.  We had planned to pass with the rigs to our port side but a wind shift put us on course to pass right between a fully built rig and a partially built rig. A manoeuvre which was forbidden.  We only had permission to pass with at least a mile between us and these two rigs and to go between them would have put us within this smaller exclusion zone.  Due to this we had to take a detour, to change tack and pass the rigs to starboard side.
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Melancholy musings

Here I am sitting waiting for hubby listening to the fizzle pop of rain falling on the car.   Listening to to the tunes of U105 feeling melancholy and thinking of life.  A life that seems to be running away so fast.  Speeding along as if rushing to an important date or an exciting event.  I don’t see death being either of those.  So why does life flit by in the blink of an eye.  How did we get to the middle of April without our feet barely touching the ground.  Oh to be young again when time seemed to last forever.  Where summer holidays lasted what seemed like years.  Where school days lingered long.  We all rush to grow up.  To be an adult.  To live life as we please.  Only to find that adulthood is a ball and chain round your ankle.  Where life is still not yours to do with what you want unless if course you were born into money.  No! Adult life is far from the imaginings of a child.  Life gradually speeds up in your twenties, hastens by in your thirties, and disappears in the blink of an eye in your forties, and I hate to think how quick it will go when I am in my fifties, sixties and seventies.  I am certainly at the stage of life where I feel scared that it is nearly over.  That I don’t have time left to do all that I want.  That my stupid body prevents me from fully partaking in my life.  That eight years of my life have slipped away with hardly a blink since becoming disabled.  I often feel that I am on the outside looking in.  Watching others having fun, having energy to go out, visit places I would love to go but are totally inaccessible to me.  Places I long to see and experience.  I never was one to stay on the beaten track, always being the person who wanted to go the long way, the challenging way, the way most would not generally go.  Now I am confined to the beaten track asking constant questions like is it accessible, how much energy will it take, how long will it take to recover, how hard will it be for hubby. I have never been a dependant person, fiercely independent is what I am so I find it difficult asking for help, depending on others to lift and carry, and depending on someone to push me in the wheelchair.  The main person who does this is my hubby. That is not what we planned for our married life.  Not until we were ancient and nearing the end.   This should be our time.  Where son has grown up and our lives become our own.  Where we can have fun and find ourselves as a couple again.  Living in constant pain takes that away to some degree.  We can’t be spontaneous everything has to be planned and mainly around one or two days a week, nothing can be planned for an evening on a work night and at least one day a week is given over to recovering from the immense effort involved with getting ready for work, driving too and from work and plastering on that smile for eight or so hours a day to hide the pain and exhaustion.  Just so I can have four days a week where I feel normal.  Well as normal as you can be with chronic pain.  I often think how much harder my life would be without hubby. He is the one that keeps me going not just by helping me physically but mentally too. I am absolutely petrified of anything happening to him.  Our life is so finally balanced managing my CRPS and Fibromyalgia it would only take something small for the table to tip and everything to come crashing down around our ears.  Life is so so fragile, so unpredictable and so very short and I pray each and every day for equilibrium to be maintained at the very least.

MY TALL SHIPS RACE JOURNAL DAY 8 – (11/07/2015) – Sunshine, oil rigs and making sense of spaghetti!

This is the last entry I have to make using my phone to record my journal.  The sea sickness is subsiding and I am beginning to feel I can go back to writing my journal in my penguin pad.  It is a great feeling when sea sickness subsides, you suddenly feel normal again and wonder how you survived the days you did with feeling so sick.  The woozy head has gone, the constant nauseous feeling has gone, and I am feeling so much better.  The recording today started with this conversation between me and hubby

Me – “I can’t remember what we did today.  What did we do today?”

Hubby – “What did we do today!  Got up.  Went out set some sails.  Had breakfast.  Set more sails.  Came back, had a talk.  Had dinner.  Went on watch.  Did some shopping. Came back to the cabin”

Me – “There you go, you summed it up nicely I don’t need to do my blog now!”

I still had to do my blog though, the journal would not have been complete with so little information in it.  So I continued to record the following on my phone. Continue reading

MY TALL SHIPS RACE JOURNAL DAY 7 – (10/07/2015) – Blew a sail, rogue wave soaks hubby, and I feel a long way from home!

Window

View from window at breakfast.  The photograph does not do the movement of the ship any justice.  She was very roly!

Up early this morning for breakfast in the upper mess, I am on watch from 8 am to 12:30 pm and hubby is on mess duty.  Even though the sea is rough and the ship is rocking from side to side with waves slamming into her, and I am jammed up against the port bulkhead in the upper mess to stop my wheelchair from sliding any further, it was nice to start the day with a hearty breakfast of freshly caught fish from yesterday’s catch.  A big thank you goes out to the medical purser and pals for their fishing skills! Continue reading

Missing from blogging – a quick update

Hi

I wrote this a couple of weeks ago and never got round to publishing it.  I wasn’t quite ready to hit the blogging world with a blog entry at the time, however I thought it important to write a blog post for potential publishing at a later date.  I am glad to say that today is the day that I feel like publishing this particular blog.  Please bear in mind that this was written a couple of weeks ago and I have moved on a little since writing this, an update will be at the end. Continue reading

MY TALL SHIPS RACE JOURNAL DAY 3 – (06/07/2015) – Rocky the stowaway, the beautiful North Coast, let the race begin, and the Guinness supplies have been located!

North-Coast-5

I had a great night’s sleep last night, managed to sleep like a baby.  Then I always do on a tall ship!  I am so glad I have not lost that ability.  I was a little concerned that with the noise of the ship and being in constant pain anyway, that I would not be able to get to sleep.  I am so pleased that I could and maybe I will get some rest on this voyage after all.  Continue reading

My multitude of panics!

I could not resist using this picture of Jack Sparrow at the top of the mast.  Those who have been following my blog will know that this is the place on a tall ship that I would love to get to!

I could not resist using this picture of Jack Sparrow at the top of the mast. Those who have been following my blog will know that this is the one place on a tall ship that I would love to get to!

I went into full blown panic mode the other night about my upcoming tall ship adventure.  I imagine it is only natural, with all the excitement and adrenaline, to suddenly hit rock bottom real hard and start doubting myself and the trip. Continue reading