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2016 – a year in brief

I haven’t written a blog post for such a long time.  Life just seems to be so busy, especially during the last year, or I have overdone things and not felt like writing.  It has been quite a challenging year with some of the challenges carried forward into this year, however I am determined to not allow this to take over my life.  It has not all been doom and gloom, although it has felt it often, several good things have come from 2016 , from life in general and also from the challenges last year. Continue reading

Melancholy musings

Here I am sitting waiting for hubby listening to the fizzle pop of rain falling on the car.   Listening to to the tunes of U105 feeling melancholy and thinking of life.  A life that seems to be running away so fast.  Speeding along as if rushing to an important date or an exciting event.  I don’t see death being either of those.  So why does life flit by in the blink of an eye.  How did we get to the middle of April without our feet barely touching the ground.  Oh to be young again when time seemed to last forever.  Where summer holidays lasted what seemed like years.  Where school days lingered long.  We all rush to grow up.  To be an adult.  To live life as we please.  Only to find that adulthood is a ball and chain round your ankle.  Where life is still not yours to do with what you want unless if course you were born into money.  No! Adult life is far from the imaginings of a child.  Life gradually speeds up in your twenties, hastens by in your thirties, and disappears in the blink of an eye in your forties, and I hate to think how quick it will go when I am in my fifties, sixties and seventies.  I am certainly at the stage of life where I feel scared that it is nearly over.  That I don’t have time left to do all that I want.  That my stupid body prevents me from fully partaking in my life.  That eight years of my life have slipped away with hardly a blink since becoming disabled.  I often feel that I am on the outside looking in.  Watching others having fun, having energy to go out, visit places I would love to go but are totally inaccessible to me.  Places I long to see and experience.  I never was one to stay on the beaten track, always being the person who wanted to go the long way, the challenging way, the way most would not generally go.  Now I am confined to the beaten track asking constant questions like is it accessible, how much energy will it take, how long will it take to recover, how hard will it be for hubby. I have never been a dependant person, fiercely independent is what I am so I find it difficult asking for help, depending on others to lift and carry, and depending on someone to push me in the wheelchair.  The main person who does this is my hubby. That is not what we planned for our married life.  Not until we were ancient and nearing the end.   This should be our time.  Where son has grown up and our lives become our own.  Where we can have fun and find ourselves as a couple again.  Living in constant pain takes that away to some degree.  We can’t be spontaneous everything has to be planned and mainly around one or two days a week, nothing can be planned for an evening on a work night and at least one day a week is given over to recovering from the immense effort involved with getting ready for work, driving too and from work and plastering on that smile for eight or so hours a day to hide the pain and exhaustion.  Just so I can have four days a week where I feel normal.  Well as normal as you can be with chronic pain.  I often think how much harder my life would be without hubby. He is the one that keeps me going not just by helping me physically but mentally too. I am absolutely petrified of anything happening to him.  Our life is so finally balanced managing my CRPS and Fibromyalgia it would only take something small for the table to tip and everything to come crashing down around our ears.  Life is so so fragile, so unpredictable and so very short and I pray each and every day for equilibrium to be maintained at the very least.

A strictly come dancing style night to raise money for the Northern Ireland Hospice

Do you like strictly? Are you willing to give to a good cause? The Northern Ireland Hospice!  Then read on.

Nicola and David are two lovely people that I work with.  They, along with several other dancing couples from work, have put in tons of hard work and dedication over the last 8 or so weeks in their own time to learn 2 dances for a night of strictly style entertainment for charity – the northern Ireland hospice.  Some have even endured injuries and humiliation, spotty dog David being one that has endured both!

All of this hard work is in aid of raising money towards funding a bedroom in the new purpose built hospice due to open in May 2016.  The race is now on to generate the remaining 1.5 million needed to complete the project.

I will be supporting Nicola and David on the night.  Why not support them today by donating to their just giving page and spreading this blog so your friends can donate too.

If they don’t win the dance competition, let’s make them the couple that raises the most money!

Click here to visit their Just Giving page

Please give generously

PS to all the other dancers you are all fantastic!

Want to know more about the Northern Ireland Hospice then click here

Happy Mother’s Day

Wishing all you lovely mums out there a happy mother’s day.

To all of you who have a mother in heaven I know that your mum will be forever in your heart.

To everyone else whose mother is still here on this earth make each and every day count, build fabulous memories, enjoy time together, and most of all remember to tell your mum you love her with all of your heart!   Continue reading

Life

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Sometimes life can be strange. It has a tendency to throw one thing after another at you whether it be good or bad.   I think I have had enough of a bad run lately and it is about time my fortunes turned to give me a better one.

What with a family member dying, two others ending up in hospital, a third due to go into hospital, my health just constantly bombarding me with one issue after another and then needing a new roof on the house, all within the short time since the beginning of the year 2016 I truly feel it is time for my luck to change. Continue reading

To spa or not to spa, that is the question

Spa weekend, photo of front of hotel with red carpet leading up the steps to the front door

Spa weekend at the Slieve Russell Hotel.  Our room was on the top floor – the one with the arched window.

A few months ago I got it into my head that I wanted to go on a spa weekend with my hubby for our anniversary.  Hubby wasn’t overly keen, however with a bit of work, he finally agreed to give it a go.  I wasn’t sure if I would benefit from it due to the pain of CRPS and the rest of my medical issues.  I was worried that massage would hurt too much or that I would not manage the additional moving around to use the facilities to the full benefit. Continue reading

Shifts, Changes and Choices – reblogged from Sarcoidosis Soldier

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Quickly and with brilliant swiftness, it passes, sometimes with grace and others in cruelty. It moves at its one pace and does not wait for us. Often quiet in its progress, it yields to no one who attempts to stall its march.

Life is marked by its passage, through celebration, sadness and seasons. It is watched and worried over, caring little for the attention it receives. Dancing to its own complicated rhythm, in step with music that is hard to hear.

Full of sentimental longings of happiness and youth, full of anticipation for future adventures, its meaning shifts and changes like the stunning beauty of a sunset before darkness falls, sometimes on a starless night and others to the glory of a harvest moon, depending entirely on how we chose to honor it.

Reblogged from Sarcoidosis Soldier, words that resonated with me that I thought my readers would also appreciate.  Thank you Sarcoidosis Soldier for posting.