I came across this little sketch in among my emails today. Normally if they have a lot of text to read I pass over the sketches and hit the delete button, I prefer the short – to the point – ones. For some reason though I read this one, it was almost as if I was drawn to it, and maybe I was. I am having difficulty dealing with acceptance at the moment. I am a little stressed at not being in work because of having a viral infection and being chronically fatigued, which is making me into a bit of a nightmare to live with. I am angry with me, everyone and everything – which is so unlike me. I can’t seem to accept that I need this time off work to recover fully, and if I don’t take the time then it would put me back days if not weeks, and most likely the latter to be fair. This I cannot allow to happen on two counts – one being the Tall Ships Race in just over five weeks – I need to be on top form for that, and two when I return to work I don’t want to be going off sick again because I have returned too soon. Even though I am telling myself this constantly, I am also very annoyed with myself and seeing myself as a failure for not being able to continue as I was doing so before I ended up in hospital.
When I read this little picture about the ladybird dropping her china it made me realise that hating myself and being a grouchy person because I am not at work won’t make me better any quicker, in fact it is probably doing more harm than good, and I know it is because my stomach is playing up something chronic and my pain is through the roof. I hate being off work and have such a good work ethic even with living in chronic pain, so the last couple of weeks have been a struggle for me. However, when I start to look at it logically, with the help of a little cartoon character, I am making all of this into a problem when it shouldn’t be. I just need to accept what is happening at the moment, focus on recovery instead of annoyance at myself, and return to work fighting fit. That way I will not end up going back off sick for returning too early and I will be well enough for the tall ships.