I hate seeing anyone suffer especially the lovely lady, Hayley, who inspired me to write this blog. Hayley is so inspirational with her writing even with the pain of CRPS, and has a knack of writing exactly how it all feels. She verbalises feelings and emotions through her writing that make you stop and think “I am not alone with this crazy disease” and “these feelings are normal”.
Her blog has helped me these last few years and I wanted to share the blog with fellow sufferers, and with others who want to find out about how CRPS affects the whole life of a person suffering this incurable disease.
A quote from Hayley’s most recent blog post reads:
With CRPS, how I am today just doesn’t mean that much in terms of how I’ll be tomorrow, or the next day, or a week after a ketamine infusion. Practise has taught me that the best thing I can do is simply keep making the most of my abilities every day. I have to adapt activities around my fluctuating handicaps and adjust my attitude when life stops the pieces of my plans fitting together.
I needed to read this today, especially as I am going through a flare and been feeling like I am failing. It is hard to see out the other side when the fog comes down and pain envelops your whole body, feeling like you have ran a marathon with no training, or like you are being squished in a tightening vice, or sat in the embers of a burning fire or in an ice bath – or all four of these at once and more! That’s without going into how all this effects you emotionally and the exhaustion that comes with it.
I think my flare is coming from a bug I have. Well, when one person comes into work with a cold most will get it in some form or another, and when I get a cold it is like having the flu with the way it knocks me about.
Yesterday I hit a wall, not literally, my pain was that bad I could not sit still to work and even speaking was becoming a difficulty. I felt bad having to leave work an hour early, the failure in me only driving the pain and the emotions more!
Today I am seeing yesterday in a different light, even though my pain is still high. I realise I am not a failure, nor am I failing – I get up each and every day with pain and fatigue (similar to that of a heavy cold or flu without the snots,temperature or sore throat) and have a can do attitude to achieve something with my day, even the most smallest of achievements is a success.
I realise now that I did not fail yesterday. I got out of bed, got ready for work, had a good cry and went to work – that’s not failing – that’s pushing through and giving life a go despite the pain. I certainly did not fail by coming home an hour early either – I had almost worked my full hours and achieved all I needed to in that time (plus more) despite the pain and not being able to sit still.
I achieved by being in work, and for a change, I achieved in listening to my body.
Success and failure isn’t about being, and shouldn’t be, measured against others’ achievements, it should be measured only by yourself and the goals you set and achieve. There really shouldn’t be failure, only learnings from what wasn’t achieved so you can use them to succeed in the future, or set more realistic goals to help you succeed.
I would like to thank Hayley for her inspirational and very helpful writing. I hope you enjoy her blog, and are able to get something from her writing like I have. Keep up the great work lovely lady. x
I couldn’t resist to add this picture, when I stumbled upon it looking for other inspirational quotes